"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love." --Charlie Brown

"I don't even know what street Canada is on." --Al Capone

"There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result." --Winston Churchill

"From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put." -- Winston Churchill

"I am the emperor, and I want dumplings." -- Ferdinand I

"The little I know I owe to my ignorance." -- Sacha Guitry

"Breast Feeding should not be attempted by fathers with hairy chests, since they can make the baby sneeze and give it wind." -- Mike Harding (The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac)

"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men." -- Kin Hubbard

"And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you're about to see another. First - an attempted suicide." -- Chris Hubbock, who shot herself during a broadcast

"We are not retreating - we are advanceing in another Direction." -- General Douglas MacArthur

"I was born at a very early age." -- Groucho Marx

"Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough." -- Karl Marx's last words to his housekeeper

"I think it would be totally inappropriate for me to even contemplate what I am thinking about." -- Don Mazankowski, former Candian Minister of Finance

"If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it." -- Leo C. Rosten

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..." -- General John B. Sedgwick's last words, 1864

"I am the Roman Emperor, and am above grammar." -- Emperor Sigismund

"You are looking as fresh as paint." -- F.E. Smedley

"All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height." -- Casey Stengel

"He was a bold man that first eat on oyster." -- Jonathan Swift

"If you can't convince them, confuse them." -- Harry S. Truman

"Familiarity breeds contempt - and children." -- Mark Twain

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." --Mark Twain

"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear." -- Mark Twain

"God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board." -- Mark Twain

"Seven days without laughter makes one weak." -- Mort Walker

"When people agree with me I always feel that I must be wrong." -- Oscar Wilde

"I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it." -- Steven Wright

"You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER" -- Frank Zappa